I work down at The Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm five foot three and overweight
I'm a sci: fi fanatic, mild asthmatic
Never been to second base
But there's a whole 'nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace.
'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm six foot five and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns s on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.
I'm so much cooler online
I'm so much cooler online.
I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time
I've ever been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.
But online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein
I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six-pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns s on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online.
When you've got my kind of stats
It's hard to get a date
Let alone a real *girl*friend
But I grow another foot and lose a bunch of weight
Every time I log in.
Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm six foot five and I look damn good
Even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online.
Thanks to Amy for these lyrics
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